为你解忧

(1) An Arab & A Jew

An Arab is going to have open-heart surgery. 

The doctor is preparing the blood transfusion. 

Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood,

it couldn't be found locally.

So the call went out to a number of countries. 

Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab. 

After the surgery,

the Arab sent the Jew a thank-you card for giving his blood along with an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as a token of his appreciation.

Unfortunately,

the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again..

His doctors called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again, believing he will receive more gifts from the Arab again. 

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank You card

and a box of Almond Roca sweets. 

The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not acknowledge the Jew's kind gesture in the same way as he had done the first time.

So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not a very generous manner.

The Arab replied : " Ya Habibii...,( Dear Friend )

you have to remember, I have Jewish blood in my body now..

 (2)料事如神

八十年代，鄧小平訪美，召開記者招待會，正好翻譯不在，美國老記者想考考鄧小平的英語水平，便问：

請問美國第一任總統叫什麼名字？

鄧小平心想按中國人的習俗，見面應該先問姓，

便操著四川口音說：

我姓鄧（Washington ）。

美國老記者大吃一驚，

但轉念一想，這個問題太簡單了，便又說：

請問，您夫人和孩子到美國都幹了些什麼？

鄧小平又想問完姓，該問名了吧，就回答說：

小平（shopping）

老記者們連忙追問： 

那麼他們是用什麼交通工具？

鄧小平又按中國習俗，認為他們在問年齡，就回答：

八十（bus）。

老記者譁然，繼續問道：

那麼臺灣下一任總統會是誰？

鄧小平等來等去，翻譯還沒有來，便回答說： 

你等會兒（李登輝），

老記者再次譁然，這麼敏感的政治問題也回答得如此輕鬆？

便又問：那李登輝後邊呢？

鄧小平有些不耐煩，說： 

隨便（水扁）。

老記們看看翻譯快要來了，便抓緊時間問最後一個問題：

您覺得21世紀初那个国家的领导丑闻最多最声名狼藉最恶名昭彰？

鄧小平極其不耐煩，心想這些美國記者們怎麼這麼不識趣，沒完沒了的問個不停，沈下臉说道： 

垃圾！（纳吉）

三十多年後，美國記者感慨說：

鄧小平真是一代偉人，料事如神！！😜😜😜