浮世绘

Father and son

Son: dad, I want a motorbike

Father: I will buy u a violin

Son: no dad, I want a motorbike

Father: you will have a violin.

After several months of violin lessons, the father asks to the son to play something....

In case of an emergency, speak only in English.

Never say prayers in any other language.

You  never know what kind of translation problem u can run into.

An Indian in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance.

Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om.

When the ambulance pulled into his home, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics: 'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?' They replied "Because he kept saying, 'Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!' 

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 In the United States, a book titled: ​"HOW TO CHANGE YOUR WIFE IN 30 DAYS",​ sold two million copies in one  week, before the author discovered that the title had a spelling error ! 

The correct title should have been: ​"HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS".​ After the  correction, for a whole month, only 3 copies were sold.

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婚后笑话

 *我爱你*

一群男人在喝酒，有人突发奇想，相约各自给老婆发个短信，写“ *我爱你*”，看看各年龄段女人的反应，结果大不一样！

20来岁的女人回复“我也爱你！”

30来岁的女人回复“酒喝多了吧？”

40來岁的女人回复“你没病吧？”

50来岁的女人回复“发错人了吧？看回来怎么收拾你！”

60來岁的女人回复“退休了闲得慌是不是？快爬山去吧！”

70来岁的女人不回复，直接给儿子打电话“你爸可能没几天了，赶快准备后事吧！”

80来岁的女人自言自语地说“唉，今天一定是忘了吃老年痴呆药了！

********************************************************************************************************最近台灣一則新的網路笑話

王老師夫妻要出遠門旅遊，怕家裡遭小偷，被翻箱倒櫃找不到錢而遭惡意破壞，於是在桌上放了一千元，並留了一張紙條給小偷：抱歉辛苦了，退休後沒有18趴，靠一點退休金過生活，家裡沒什麼現金，你好不容易來一趟，怕你白忙ㄧ場，特留了＄1000給你當出差費，若想擴大收穫，我家對面八樓是兆豐金董事長，7樓是兆豐金總經理，6樓是財政部長，5樓是金管會理事長，四樓是民進黨產管委會，他們現金多，且被偷不會報警。祝收穫豐碩。

一週後，王老師回家，發現桌上多了十萬塊現金及一張紙條：多謝老師教誨，相見恨晚，此趟任務順利完成，收獲豐碩，特留十萬元聊表謝意。往後請繼續教誨，並不斷提供資訊，感恩！

附註：

能否一併告知蔡英文家住哪裡？