Friday, 20 December 2019

浮世绘


一中国哥们去加拿大赏枫叶,中午在一景点吃披萨,点了个直径9寸的比萨。等了一会,服务员客气地端来了两份直径5寸的比萨,说9寸的比萨没有了,给您两份5寸的,多送您1寸吧!
这哥们一楞,客气地请服务员叫来店老板,给他普及了一下求圆面积的数学公式:S=,其中兀是圆周率,等于3.1415926……r是圆半径。算下来,9寸的面积=63.62平方寸,而5寸的面积=19.63平方寸,两个5寸面积加起来是39.26平方寸。你给我三个比萨我还亏着呢!怎么能说多送我一寸?
老板无语,最后给了他4个比萨,并竖起拇指道:中国人厉害,当官的能贪污,不当官的能算计……

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*“符离集烧鸡的真实故事*

    *安徽宿州,有个当地久负盛名的美食,叫符离集烧鸡*
    *多年前,著名演员范冰冰来到安徽演出,对  “符离集烧鸡”  的美味赞不绝口。演出结束后,当地政府笔墨伺侯,恳请范冰冰留下墨宝。*
     *范冰冰面带微笑,欣然接受。略加思考后,写了题词,并签下了自己的姓名:*
      *中国第一鸡
          *范冰冰*

    *这幅题字,现存放在宿州民俗馆里   ……   
     *正所谓:鸡可以滥食;字不可乱题!没有文化真可怕,胡乱题字出笑话。多看书来学文化,别再充当大傻瓜!*

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《温馨相告》
     2019年8月25日,中国摄影家协会名誉副主席、国际级拍鸟大师 默友 老先生仙逝,享年128岁;  
    2019年5月17日,中国钓协理事,国际钓王 胡彻 先生仙逝,享年121岁; 
    2019年8月15日,中国酒界泰斗 秦含章 先生仙逝,享年112岁;  
     2017年6月4日,中国茶界泰斗 张天福 老先生仙逝,享年108岁;  
    2019年6月14日,著名养生大师 梅墨 先生过世,终年59岁;
    2019年11月11日,中国营养健康网董事长、著名保健品及不食谷物营养专家林海峰病逝,享年51岁。

      以上数据表明,养生不如喝茶,喝茶不如喝酒,喝酒不如钓鱼, 钓鱼不如拍鸟。  所以说, 朋友们,好好玩吧,多出去拍拍鸟、 钓钓鱼、没事喝点小酒、叫上三五知己品品茶比啥都强,千万千万别听养生专家瞎吹牛B!

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 Buruhan was a very dull boy. His peers called him "chikopo".

When he was in a Muslim school he got the following results:
Maths = 2%
English = 5%
Science = 0%
Social sciences = 1%
He was taken to a government school and got the following results;
Maths = 0%
Eng = 1%
Science = 0%
Social sciences = 0%
His parents were very disappointed but still decided to put him in a catholic school. The First term Buruhan passed and was the  first in the class . 
Maths = 90%
English = 93%
Science = 95%
Social sciences = 89%
His parents could not believe it. They asked him how he managed to pass and he said;
*"When I saw  a man nailed on the cross, I knew that these teachers don't joke with students here"*







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