四個笑話，祝您天天愉快！
老頭子給兒子買房子，去現場辦理分期付款手續登記。銀行業務員說：“先生您是季付，還是月付”。老頭一聽火了，說：“我他媽的不是繼父，也不是岳父，我是……父親”！於是業務員就在申請表格上打鉤了……一次付清。 ～～～
感悟:人與人之間的誤會往往在於我以為聽懂了。
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醫院走廊裡一群人在等待尿檢，每人手裡都端著自己的尿樣。護士叫一個叫王尚舉的患者，喊:王尚舉！然後所有患者都把手裡的尿樣舉高了一點。護士又喊道:王尚舉！ .....然後患者們又把尿樣舉高了一點......護士還喊:王尚舉！ ！ ！然後所有患者都把尿樣高高舉起...這時王尚舉意識到護士是在喊自己，便大聲答:到！然後所有的患者都把尿倒頭上了。再忙也要笑一笑！
感悟:聽誰的很重要！
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(^_^)新來的護士妹妹打點滴技術差，護士長讓她給一個熟睡的病人打針，她打了一針，偏了，看病人沒醒，悄悄地拔出來重打，結果一針又一針，不知不覺從頭打到腳...就在妹妹香汗淋漓想再找位置打針時，病人一躍而起，咆哮著罵道：“你特麼真當我睡死了？從頭扎到腳！”妹妹落荒而逃。第二天上班，被叫到院長室，院長激動地握著護士妹妹手說：“謝謝，太謝謝了，你真他媽牛逼，8年的植物人被你扎醒了''！
感悟:亂做都比不做強！
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(^_^)大媽上了空調車投了一塊錢。司機說：“兩塊”。大媽說：“是的，涼快”。司機說：“空調車兩塊！”。大媽答：“空調車是涼快”。司機又說：“投兩塊”! 大媽笑說：“不光頭涼快，渾身都涼快”，說完往後頭走。司機說:“我告訴你錢投兩塊”。大媽說:“我覺得後頭人少更涼快”司機無語，一車人笑倒了！
感悟:溝通不到位，努力全白費。
保持微笑，不會變老。
微笑一下，精神好一整天！
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科技進步，孩子的國文愈來愈現代！
以下是學生對10個成語作出的測驗解答:
1、【夫唱婦隨】
丈夫去唱歌，老婆尾隨跟蹤。
2、【度日如年】
日子非常好過，每天像過年一樣。
3、【杯水車薪】
每天上班喝茶，月底可拿一車的工資。
4、【知足常樂】
知道有人請洗腳，心裏就感到快樂。
5、【見異思遷】
看見漂亮的異性，就想搬到她那裏去住。
6、【知書達禮】
僅知道書本知識不夠的，還要學會送禮。
7、【朝三暮四】
早上和小三在一起，晚上和小四在一起。
8、【窮途末路】
現在道路收費很高，讓窮人無路可走。
9、【一窮二白】
人一變窮，別人就會用兩個白眼看你。
10、【無微不至】
沒有微信的地方不要去。
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Indian English:
ONLY MAHATHIR UNDERSTANDS SAMY VELLU
Once upon a time Samy Vellu was visiting India when he fell and broke his jaw. He was unable to speak.
Being the great leader, he continued his grand tour. On the last week of his visit, although still unable to speak, Samy insisted on sending a message home to his Cabinet colleagues.
Samy caught a chicken and showed it to the camera.
Next he took a goat, and showed it to the camera.
Finally he took a bag and displayed it in front of the camera.
Dr Ling was the first to see the video clip. He said, "Samy is telling us that India has insufficient food because he showed us a chicken and a goat and he wants Malaysia to donate bags of rice."
Mahathir watched silently then said, "No lah....what Samy is trying to say is HE IS COMING BACK." The whole Cabinet was puzzled and looked to the old man for an explanation. Mahathir reasoned, "AYAM KAMBING BAG.".... ("I am coming back" in Indian accent)。
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*Your Wife Is Your Wife*
A married couple were walking through a garden, when suddenly a dog ran towards them.
They both knew it will bite them..
The husband lifted his wife to let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart.
The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little and ran away.
The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.
But his wife shouted, “I've seen people throwing stones & sticks at dogs, *this is the first time I see someone trying to throw his wife at a dog*
_Moral : No one else can *misunderstand* a Husband better than a Wife_
*Happy International*
*Married Men's Day*
🤣🤣🤣🤣
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