[[((((( *Joke of the year* )))))]]
Trump teaching his children spelling of *"assassination"*:
•• One *ass* behind another *ass* .... and *I* .... stand behind the whole *nation*.
Divorce💔💔Hilarious
Must Read!
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American lady.
Although his english wasn't perfect they got along very well.
One day he rushed to the solicitor's and asked him if he
could arrange a divorce for him. The solicitor said that getting a divorce would
depend on circumstances and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home😊
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete😊
I dont think you understand. Does either of you have a real
grudge?
No, we have a carport and not need one😊
I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations are in Poland😒
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player😋
Does your wife beat you up?
No I always up before her😝
Is your wife a nagger?
No she white 😞
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me 👹
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She is going to poison me.
She bought a bottle at drug store and put on shelf in
bathroom. I can read English well and it says:
POLISH REMOVER!!!!!
Foreigners ridicule the Chinese Zodiac.
On one occasion, a group of Chinese representatives
participated in the reception of a delegation composed of European aristocrats.
Most of the Europeans had kinship with some royal family,
very knowledgeable and cultivated, treat people polite, but hidden behind their
pretence of high culture was some in-born arrogance.
On the last day of dinner, these aristocrats drank more and
began to speak freely.
During the banquet, a German aristocrat stood up and
said:
"You Chinese people use the common animals like pig,
dog, mouse as zodiac signs! Unlike us, we take after the stars like Taurus,
Leo, Virgo ... ... I do not know how your ancestors think!"
Everyone among the Europeans had listened and then laughed,
but they also toasted each other, as their earlier elegance dissapated.
It stands to reason, when others insult your ancestors, and
even if you cannot refute, at least you should topple the table!
However, all those Chinese guests did not say anything at
first, perhaps they were unable to respond.
Then one of the Chinese stood up and said in a peaceful
tone, "Yes, the ancestors of the Chinese people are down to earth in
choosing common animals, and our 12 zodiac animals are paired in duality,
reflecting the six realms of reincarnation, and is a reflection of our
ancestors' expectations and demands on us."
At this time, the atmosphere slowly settled down, but some
of the nobles looked arrogant & indifferent.
The Chinese man then said:
"The first pairing comprises rats and cattle. Mice
represents wisdom and cattle, hard work. Wisdom and hard work must be coupled together.
With wisdom alone, and absence of hard work, it becomes valueless wit; and hard
work solely, without the use of the brains, denotes a simpleton. The two
strengths must be combined. This is the ancestor's expectations and
requirements on the first and the most important group."
"The second group is tigers and rabbits. The tiger
represents bravery, while the rabbit manifests caution. Courage and
prudence must be coupled together to be bold and cautious. Being brave alone
without caution, one becomes reckless; without courage, one becomes timid. This
group is also very important"
... so the Chinese guest look at these aristocrats, smiled
politely and remarked: "When we Chinese people show restraint, please do
not think that the Chinese people are not courageous."
Seeing that everyone was in deep thought, the Chinese
continue:
"The third group is the dragon and snake - the dragon
represents ferocity, while the snake represents flexibility. We all know that
hard cast iron is not malleable and can be broken easily; however being
flexible alone makes one easy to lose one's assertiveness. So the message from
the ancients to us, is to balance both of these qualities."
"Next is the horse and sheep, Horses represents the
courage to go forward, the sheep depict their natural docile nature of going
with the flow. If a person only set his sights on his own targets without
regard for the surrounding environment, without taking the landmarks into
consideration, he will inevitably continue to bounce around randomly, and may
not even be able to achieve the goals eventually. Therefore, the mettle of
courage to step forward and lead, which must be coupled with the ability to
work in harmony with the crowd. Both characteristics must be married tightly
together...this is our ancestors expectations on the fourth group."
"Then there are monkeys and roosters. Monkeys represent
adaptability, while all roosters crow regularly on time, representing
consistency. Adaptability and constancy must be binded tightly and strategically
together. If you are constantly changing goals and objectives, no matter how
good the policy, the benefits cannot be reaped. On the one hand, stability,
harmony and order are needed to maintain on course, but on the other hand one
needs to change and adapt to circumstances in order to remain relevant and
advance further ahead. This is the most fundamental concept of how to
thrust forward for the future."
"Finally, dogs and pigs. Dogs represent fierce loyalty,
pigs represent the easy-going nature. If a person is too loyal, and does not
know how to be easy-going, the tendency would be to exclude others. In turn, a
person who is too easy-going, has no loyalty, and this person will lose his
principles & ideals. Whether it is a nation's loyalty, or loyalty to their
ideals, both ideas must be closely combined, so it is easy to keep the balance
of the heart."
"In the end, I would like to know the significance and
qualities behind your constellations of Aquarius, Sagittarius, Capricorn and
other stars, and how do these reflect the hope and expectations of your
ancestors on you," the Chinese diplomat asked.
These European nobles, for a long time, did not speak,
...the audience remained silent.
Reading this is the first time that I have understood the
meaning of the Chinese zodiac as well.
The young man who spoke then was Mr. Zhou Enlai, the former
Chinese premier.
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