*YOU CAN'T WIN WITH WOMEN*
*WIFE VS. HUSBAND*
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied,
"in-laws."
*W O R D S*
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have
to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"
*CREATION*
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife
responded, "Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
you!"
*WHO DOES WHAT*
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because
you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is
in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show
me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says.........."HEBREWS"
*The Silent Treatment*
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that
the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and
LOSE) , he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ."
He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about
to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper
by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a
rough draft before the masterpiece.
*SHARE THIS WITH SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU
THINK CAN HANDLE IT !*
(¨`·.·´¨) Alwayz
`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Keep
(¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Smiling!
`·.¸.·´
山上派出所院子跑來一隻小豬，把警察種的菜給吃了，所長派人把小豬抓住先關起來，再找豬的主人。
找了兩天沒找著，所長怕小豬餓死，主人找來不好交代，就叫人餵牠。
半年多過去了，眼看就到年底，豬長大到200多斤還沒人認領，所裡決定殺了分給大家過年！
剛殺完正準備分肉，一老頭來到院子，對所長說：
「我家的豬犯了錯，你抓也抓了，關也關了，判也判了，而且執行死刑，現在總得讓我來收個全屍了吧？」
…全所暈倒！…
正所謂
『飯桶在機關，
高手在民間！』
正好派出所的資深警員回來了，瞭解情況後對老頭說：
根據法律規定，認領屍體必須是直系親屬或法定代理人，還需要做DNA鑑定。
來！給老大哥抽個血，去跟豬做個比對……
《老頭直接暈倒！》
正所謂 『人外有人，山外有山！』
No comments:
Post a Comment